Wednesday, September 30, 2009

An Old Grouch teaches me a lesson

I went to a Bucs v Giants game over the wknd (Go Giants!) and had a great time. The game started off with me taking one bite of my hot dog and then dropping the entire thing on the ground as I was walking up the ramp into the stadium. 5$ down the drain, ketchup and mustard smeared all over the floor, and a runaway hot dog that I had to chase down the ramp. We settled into our seats and within about 5 minutes a big old man makes his way past us and kicks my 4$ water bottle down into the row in front of me therefore leaving me completely dehydrated on a sunny and 92F humid day in Tampa!!! So my friend and I sat there trying to enjoy the game but with all honesty we were consumed with thoughts of our brains frying & our bodies melting into the plastic seats. Thankfully the Giants began scoring their touchdowns and that took away some of the anxiety....and then (angels singing) the heavens opened up and it poured giving us relief and an excuse to go back inside and restock the food and drinks. On our way back to our seats we came across yet another runaway hotdog but this time it wasn't mine! someone else had the very same problem except "that person" did not pick up the hotdog, they left it there for people to risk their lives as they walked up the ramp. We find our way to our seats and wouldn't you know it but my friend sits down and immediately kicks over her just-purchased water bottle. It must have been the heat.

Now that the weather was somewhat bearable and we'd had a bite to eat we were able to thoroughly enjoy the game...at least I could because the Giants gave the Bucs a serious pounding. Our seats were awesome, 12 rows from the field, so you could see the players clearly and really get into the game. During the game I noticed 2 old geezers (bucs fans) sitting ahead of us and they had their headphones on listening to the game. They didn't move once from their seat and never said a word to anyone around them so i didn't pay much attention, the rowdy Giants fans were more of an entertainment for me as they were sitting all around us. All of a sudden there was commotion 2 sections over and we noticed that even the players on the field had stopped and were looking into the stands. Cops starting running in from every direction and before long we saw fans being handcuffed & dragged up the stairs. One individual (a bucs fan) put up a serious fight and three cops had to hold him down. After about 10 minutes things seemed to settle down.....until the fiasco started two rows in front of me.
It was 8 minutes into the 4th quarter when the Bucs started to pick up the pace but depiste their renewed effort they still couldn't score and the game ended with the Giants scoring 24-0. Sweet victory! I was rejoicing, my friend was crying, but then everything abruptly stopped when the old geezer sitting in front of us rises from his seat. He takes his precious water bottle and starts flicking water at the back of a Giants fan in front of him. At first I thought the old guy was joking around or that these two were friends but that wasn't the case, the geezer continues flicking water and adds a few explicatives and hand motions into the mix. He then takes the entire bottle and hurls it at the head of the Giants fan, gives one last finger flick, and literally runs up the stairs....with his headphones still on. Had i really seen that??? Well, to make a long story short the old geezer made a getaway but then the Giants fan turned around and began yelling at the Bucs fans sitting behind us - which then led to a viscous verbal battle. Within seconds the cops came swooping in, grabbed the Giants fan, and began hauling him up the stairs. We protested at the unfairness and the cops assured us that the old geezer had been caught and was in custody. The guys behind us said the old geezer is a miserable grouchy old man that starts a fight every single game.
This scenario got me thinking -- how in the world does a person become so grouchy and miserable? And what must that person be like outside of the football stadium. Will i end up like that??? Later that night I began thinking about the reasons why that old man was so miserable -- it stems from the heart! The old geezer, at some point in his life, allowed bitterness and anger into his heart and it grew and grew and he never took care of it. I personally have been learning a lot about this lately, I could easily allow bitterness and anger to take root but honestly i've been down that road before and it brought me nothing but misery. Forgiveness and Grace are key. I often forget that there's more to forgiveness than merely saying the words, it also involves FORGETTING. That is so hard but God commands it and because He can forgive and forget all my sins then I need to try and do the same. I am praying that God would give me compassion and grace to replace a critical and sometimes bitter spirit. I realized that I am still holding on to some baggage from the past and its time I let go of it and look upon that person through eyes of Grace. I will not become the old geezer lady that yells explicatives at football games!!!



Friday, September 25, 2009

From Morning til Night


Some mornings I wake up in a strange state of mind and it's often hard to shake those negative feelings. This morning was one of those mornings. I read a devotional by Elisabeth Elliot and it was amazing how her words were exactly what my heart needed. She talked about adversity and how there are times when many of us feel that the Lord has overlooked us as we sit in darkness yet there is hope because He does give us the answers to our "why"s and one of those answers is that we need pruning. I need to be pruned. Even if it appears that He has pruned away something good in my life it is so that I may grow and bring forth fruit. It can be a painful process but I know that "This is my Father's glory, that (I) may bear fruit in plenty and (be His disciple)" John 15:8 (paraphrased by me). Another reason for adveristy is for refining. Faith and character are more valuable than any earthly material and without adversity my faith would not grow and my character would not be stregthened. There have been times when I feel God is punishing me or judging me by allowing trials and struggles in my life but now I see His love for me. I can see and understand how adversity can prune and refine me so that I become more like Christ. A friend of mine at work sent me a link to a song by Fred Hammond and I like these words:

I've lost some joy I've lost some time
Now it feels like I will lose my mind
Journey long and lost my way
And now it feels like 'I'm lost' is all I have to say
Searching here and over there
For what I‘ve lost where is it, I don't know

But I will find a way to lift up my hands
And I will find a way to worship you, Lord
Though my heart is low I'll find a way
to give you praise
I will find a way to love you more


One thing I've not lost
is the will to move ahead
And I kept a faith and trust in you Lord
And I find way down within myself
A love for you, Lord, that overflows
But I know that I can love you more
With every loss and through it all

But I will find a way to lift up my hands
And I will find a way to worship you, Lord
And though my heart is low I'll find a way
to give you praise
I will find a way to love you more

Though there are days when my heart is low I will find a way to give You praise!


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The first blog of my life

Alright so i'll admit that my initial perspective of blogging was that people merely used it to brag about their kids or to simply talk about themselves all the time but now i think I actually "get it". Every once in a while i'll pop in on a friend's blog to see what they're up to and I enjoy reading about their latest accomplishments, the life lessons they've learned, or simply the every day stuff that makes me feel included in their lives even though I am miles away.
What is the reason I want to blog? Well its definitely not because I have kids to brag about or because I love talking about myself :) rather there is a lot I want to share -- what I've been learning and continue to learn. Maybe something I have learned will contribute to someone else's life in a positive way....maybe my words and experiences will be an encouragement or example to a person who needs it most.